Questioner

What's the best way for a man to avoid sexual temptation, especially pornography on the Internet. Someone emailed me a porno page the other day, then I got three more the next day, and then three more yesterday. These were a temptation to me, but by the grace of God I deleted them.  I am married and yet have been feeling a lot of sexual temptation recently.

Answer

1. Know that Satan and the demons will always use this temptation against you, for they know that God created sexuality in men and women to be a joy for them in the sanctity of marriage. God, by design, created the majority of people to respond sexuality to the opposite sex.  Now some have been created with a desire to remain single to serve Him in a special way.

2. Immediately change your email address!  This will get you away from the porno lists.  No matter how costly or inconvenient, get that stuff far away from you.  It will only excite a lust that is destructive.  The only excitement for a Christian husband must come from "his wife, and his wife alone!" 

3. Stay away from catalogs, ads in newspapers or Internet, or TV commercials of women scantly clad or in their undergarments.  I believe Satan and the demons can and will use this in our society to trip up Christians.  If it suddenly appears then quickly turn away.  

4. Stop watching TV or movies with any sexual scenes or with women in low cut dresses etc., for this just feeds a fantasy.   

5. Be careful what you read.  If there is a news article in the paper, TV, or the Internet about some sexual sin, then don't read it, for it will have some details that the evil ones will use against you.  

6. Talk to your wife, ask her what pleases her.  What excites her, not so you can get what you want, but rather so you both can enjoy the very pleasure God designed into marriage.  If she likes "little kisses" then that's what you have to perfect.  If she likes to talk for a while then that's what's needed.  Whatever she wants and likes--do it.  You focus on pleasing your wife, and your wife will then focus on pleasing you, and then both of you will be two very happy people.  It may take time to develop this, but that's ok, for you have a lifetime together.  

7. Memorize scriptures that speak of self-control and sexual impurity, to call to mind when the temptations come.  The evil ones will normally come at us in waves, and then stop, to get us to release our guard.  Also, be watching out for new approaches by the evil ones.  If we start to develop a good love relationship with our wives then the evil ones like to tempt us with maybe another woman.  Don't ever give another woman a second glance, no matter how pretty she may be.  I never compliment another woman on her dress, perfume, hair etc., for her husband may be inconsiderate and never tell her she is beautiful, and thus she may respond to my compliments.  I tell my wife, all the time, that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and to me she is!  I tell her all the time the honest truth in my heart, that I love her form, her smile, her wit, her attitude, and intelligence, and she loves the compliments. I know no one is perfect, but I keep asking the Lord to increase my love for my wife, and then I have this great desire to tell her how wonderful she is--she eats it up, as most women would. 

Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "Tony Capoccia's Questions and Answers" by:

Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
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Columbus, New Jersey, USA, 08022
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Email: tony@biblebb.com
Online since 1986